Ferris

Ferris, a 2-year-young German mix at Second Chance Humane Society, admits he has the zoomies. (Courtesy photo)

My name is Ferris. I am a handsome and intelligent 2-year-young German Shepherd mix, and I am a zoomier. Or perhaps I should say I am a dog who gets the zoomies. Or maybe there is simply no proper grammar for this state of being. But if you have a zoomier, you will know exactly what I am talking about.

The zoomies are that uncontrollable circuitous wild romp, ecstatic dance, jubilant spin and contagious rapturous sprint of euphoria that overtakes dogs like we are being possessed by the demons of joy. Yes, that exhilarating thing we do that makes you laugh and forget about all of your troubles, even if just for the few minutes it takes for the zoomies to course through our veins.

Even the word for this behavior is fun — zooooomies! Despite non-zoomying humans giving it a technical term, Frenetic Random Activity Periods or FRAPS, to make it sound boring and dysfunctional, zoomies are actually a normal part of happy dog behavior.

Zoomies are displayed more frequently in puppies and young dogs, but are a great way for dogs of any age to release pent up energy. We get the zoomies for a variety of reasons, when highly excited or aroused or after watching another dog engage in high-energy play. If you want an almost guaranteed display of the zoomies just give your dog a bath. Post-bath zoomies are as routine as burping after inhaling a plate full of lasagna that someone left on the counter within my reach.

You can often predict when a bout of the zoomies is about to hit. Whenever your dog suddenly gets that glint in his eyes, perhaps a little play bow, just step back and enjoy the show. The biggest danger of the zoomies is head (dog) and knee (human) collisions so I recommend you bend and lock your knees to keep them safe while your dogs are in the zoomie zone (and remove small children and fragile family heirlooms from the vicinity).

If your dog chooses an inopportune time to get the zoomies, like next to a four lane highway, an airport runway or a minefield, know that there is simply no stopping a good bout of the zoomies. If you chase a zoomying dog, they will interpret this as part of the fun and run faster. The best approach to keeping a zoomier from danger is to run in a safe direction. The zoomier will simply follow you in a sporty game of chase. Mostly though, zoomies are just a way to teach people to celebrate life.

Aside from zoomying, my favorite thing is people. I love the way they make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I feel safe and whole around them. So I am hoping that whoever decides to adopt me as their forever friend will want me by their side as much as possible. I also would like my person to be active and have other dogs for me to play with. I am not sure what I think of cats. I love snuggles and am a goofy fetcher. Let’s live a zoomie-worthy life together.

“You’re not dying, you just can’t think of anything good to do.”—Ferris Bueller

Second Chance Humane Society’s Animal Resource Center and Thrift Shops have been servicing San Miguel, Ouray and Montrose counties for 25 years. Call the Second Chance Helpline at 970-626-2273 to report a lost pet, learn about adopting a homeless pet, or about Spay/Neuter, Volunteer, Feral Cat or other services. View our shelter pets and services online at adoptmountainpets.org.