SAN MIGUEL SHERIFF’S OFFICE
WHOLE HEAP OF TROUBLE: A 32-year-old Kayenta man wrote himself a laundry list of woes, including DUI, driving under restraint, careless driving, failure to drive in a single lane, and operating a motor vehicle without insurance. In addition, he had a no bond failure to comply warrant out of Montezuma County.
STORYTIME: Once upon a time, a car was abandoned at Mill Creek with fictitious plates and no proof of insurance. Its owner was cited. The end.
iVISIT: A man reported his lost phone was pinging at someone’s home. Deputies helped him recover it.
FAST: Enough to earn a ticket.
RESTRAINED: Means one should refrain from driving. Otherwise, you’ll be served up a nice, freshly written ticket.
HIDE AND SEEK: When two girls went missing, numerous on- and off-duty deputies sprung into action to help search for them. The two little grommets were found hiding in the house.
COW GANGS: An Egnar resident called to find out what could be done about her neighbor’s cows breaking down a fence and being a nuisance on her property. She was not sure who owned the cows. She was given a phone number for the Brand Inspector.
BUS, DANG: A bus got stuck on Lizard Head Pass with nary a flake of snow in sight.
WARRANT: Following a traffic stop, a man was booked for driving under restraint and for an outstanding warrant.
CHECKING ALL THE BOXES: A man was arrested on charges of driving under restraint, possession of a Schedule II controlled substance, possession of drug paraphernalia, unlawful use of a concealed weapon and operating an unregistered vehicle and other charges.
FRAUD: Deputies took an internet fraud report. The credit card company has been involved and is investigating the matter. A statement with specific details from the reporting party is pending and directions concerning contacting credit agencies was forwarded.
DOGGONE: A citizen reported the presence of dogs on an area trail where they are prohibited.
A CASE OF YOU: An inebriated man toting a case of beer was walking down the Spur, attempting to flag down a ride. The activity drew the notice of the law, who knew the man had a restraining order against possessing alcohol. He got a ride, alright. In the backseat of a cop car.
ONE-SIDED: Deputies could not respond to a report of a man standing beside the road in conversation with himself.
WOOL YOU LOOK AT THAT!: Deputies helped extricate a sheep stuck in a fence.
PLEASE FENCE THEM IN: A sheep rancher on Wright’s Mesa was issued a warning for repeated incidents of loose sheep on the highway creating unsafe situations.
SLANDER: Deputies responded to a report of a neighbor posting slanderous letters and stickers allegedly maligning a neighbor.
SHEEP DIP: Those sheep got out again. Sheep rancher received a finger-waggin’.
SOLO: A deputy came upon a single vehicle accident. The driver was arrested for driving under the influence.
CARELESS: A female motorist pulled over for careless driving was arrested for driving under the influence and other charges.
HIS BRAIN WAS SQUIRMIN’ LIKE A TOAD: A motorist was reported for a road rage incident.
TELLURIDE MARSHAL’S DEPARTMENT
BUM STEERER: Following a citizen complaint, a motorist was counseled for erratic driving.
EMS ASSIST: A man lying in the gutter was attended to by emergency medical personnel for extreme inebriation.
LIPSTICK IT TO ‘EM: A vehicle’s windows were defaced with derogatory remarks scrawled in lipstick. The shade was Piss Off Peach.
ONE DOG NIGHT: A found dog was sheltered at the cop shop for the night.
UNFORGIVING: Officers assisted other agencies with a one-vehicle rollover on Black Bear Pass.
KEEPING BUSY: With numerous false alarms, noise complaints, 911 misdials nearly daily.
REALLY FAR OUT: Officers assisted emergency medical personnel with someone who’d consumed too many edibles.
IT JUMPED RIGHT OUT IN FRONT OF ME: Officers took a report of a light-colored vehicle that smashed into a Main Street planter box and fled the scene.
ASSAULT: A person was arrested for assaulting an at-risk (over 70) adult.
NOT A BEAR REPORT: A dumpster was dragged into the street.
PARTY TOWN: Numerous incidences of loud parties were reported.
THE CUSTOMER IS OFTEN NOT RIGHT: A local business filed a report of harassment.
FREE WITHDRAWALS: The door to a local bank left open was secured.
SHOUT IT OUT: Two separate incidences of loud, public verbal arguments were reported.
FREEDOM OF SPEECH TEST: Screaming obscenities in front of the library resulted in a summons for unlawful conduct.
KEYS TO THE VOID: There were three lockout assists on this day.