SAN MIGUEL COUNTY SHERIFF’S OFFICE
GEE, THANKS: A woman was paid in counterfeited money. Ongoing investigation.
BOND VIOLATION: A 43-year-old man was arrested for violation of bail bond conditions.
STAY IN JAIL: An inmate was charged with assaulting two corrections officers.
DA BEARS: Bears kept getting in the trash and deputies advised the caller a number of ways to handle the situation.
RUNAWAY: A runaway juvenile was located and returned to family while the 23-year-old companion was taken into custody on charges of kidnapping, child abuse and contributing to the delinquency of a minor.
MISSING PERSON: Returned home safely.
SIDEWAYS: A vehicle reported on its side on Imogene Pass was righted and continued on to Ouray County.
SMILE, YOU’RE ON CANDID CAMERA: A trespasser was caught on a security camera in the Ski Ranches, found and given a verbal warning to not enter the property again.
WHO’S A GOOD BOY?: A dog alerted a Wright’s Mesa homeowner to the presence of an intruder, but when deputies arrived an intruder was not found.
RITUAL SACRIFICE OR THE NATURAL ORDER OF THINGS?: A deputy received a report of a decapitated rabbit and a gate that had been tampered with in the Matterhorn area. It was determined an owl or a hawk had killed the animal and that the gate had not been molested.
MEDICAL ASSIST: A deputy conducted traffic control while medical personnel assisted a motorist in need.
ACCIDENT ASSIST: SMSO deputies, along with Telluride Fire and EMS, and San Miguel Search and Rescue assisted in the rescue of a couple whose vehicle had rolled off of Tomboy Road.
SCARY MOMENT: A missing child was found while a deputy was collecting information.
SLOW DOWN: A motorist speeding through San Miguel Canyon was issued a ticket for going 25 miles over the limit.
OUT OF CONTROL: A controlled burn got out of control and fire fighters were called to quell the blaze.
YOU’RE NOT ME: A case of identity theft was reported.
ALICE’S RESTAURANT: Construction debris and trash dumped into a creek off Fall Creek Road held the identity of the perpetrator who was contacted and who agreed to clean it up.
DUI: A citizen reported a possibly drunk driver who was, in fact, drunk. A 47-year-old Minnesota man was arrested for driving under the influence of alcohol and/or drugs.
THEY’VE MOOOOOVED ALONG: Cows in the road were gone when deputies arrived.
STFU: Stands for shut the Fido up. A Ski Ranches dog owner has received numerous complaints and citations in the past. Today’s infraction added to the collection.
WARRANTED: A 26-year-old Telluride man was arrested in court for a warrant.
OUT OF COMPLIANCE: The county building department advised the SMSO they were working to evict some people living on private property without adequate water and sewer infrastructure.
DID NOT COMPLY: A 30-year-old Aurora woman was arrested for an out of county warrant for failure to comply.
BLACK BEAR PASS: A vehicle rolled while navigating a pass normal people consider terrifying. No injuries. The car was rescued the next morning and pass was closed overnight.
SHOUT, SHOUT, LET IT ALL OUT: But not too much. A report of a verbal disturbance in the Norwood area was investigated with the parties being advised to keep it down.
I FORGOT: A reported gas skip was rectified when the driver returned to pay.
MULTIPLE CHARGES: A 52-year-old man was arrested after being found passed out in an alley with an infant nearby. He was arrested for disorderly conduct, intimidation of a witness, resisting arrest, child abuse, harrassment and menacing.
TELLURIDE MARSHAL’S DEPARTMENT
THREE STRIKES: A local business was fined for failing to keep trash secured from bears under the influence of hyperphagia.
WANTED IT BADLY: A man returned home from vacation to find his locked bike had been stolen.
LOST AND FOUND: A bike was lost, and then recovered. The officer reminded the bike owner of the importance of registering one’s bike with the TMO.
THE SPIRIT OF HEAVY KEVVY LIVES ON: A man was struck by the desire to be free of his raiment and so unburdened himself of everything he was wearing and began to ascend the Telluride Trail on his bike. That proved an unworthy enterprise so he continued his ascent on foot. His nakedness was upsetting to diners at a popular establishment at the bottom of Lift 8, who voiced their displeasure to responding officers. Once officers caught up with the garment-free hiker — whose unfettered presence was also observed by gondola riders — they noted his incoherence and arrested him for public indecency.
WHO’S VICIOUS?: A dog escaped from his human’s domicile and attacked another dog being walked nearby. The owner of the attacked dog was uncooperative and threatened litigation — and would not provide photos of the allegedly wounded dog — while the owner of the escapee was cooperative and compliant. The offending dog was a rescue that was not completely socialized and was still a work in progress.
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: A man was charged with harassment and domestic violence.
ONCE BITTEN: A dog bit a hiker on a local trail.
FESTIVAL FOMO: A girl wanted to go to a festival but outside forces threw obstacles in her way.
CAN’T GET AWAY FROM THE DAMNED THINGS: A woman was using her cell phone during a presentation at a recent festival. They were not allowed during presentations, according to festival policy. A festival passholder asked her to stop using her phone. He was ignored and she continued using her phone. He again asked her to holster her phone and said he’d make a scene. He was ignored and, as promised, a scene ensued. He tried to grab the phone, but grabbed a hand in the course of his attempt and was cited for harassment. But cell phones.
MORE ANNOYING THAN A CAMP ROBBER: Is a camper that cusses, threatens and follows other campers. He was drunk and resisted arrest.
F-BOMB FOR DAYS: An intoxicated minor smashed up a car and assaulted officers with liberal use of the f-word. The minor was bleeding. The following day, the car’s owner reported his car had been broken into by a bear. It was angry F-bomb man, who remembered nothing.