SAN MIGUEL COUNTY SHERIFF’S OFFICE

SEPT. 16

GASSED: An intoxicated female was reported at an area gas station. She was cleared by EMS and released to the care of her family.

SEPT. 17

BROKE DOWN: The occupants of a disabled vehicle near Norwood were having trouble finding a tow, so a deputy obliged them with assistance in getting a wrecker.

ACCIDENT: Deputies cleared traffic congestion and stood by while medical personnel treated a driver involved in a single vehicle accident on Highway 145.

ELK V VEHICLE: A vehicle hit an elk and lost. A tow truck was called. Presumably, the elk lost, too.

SEPT. 18

DENNIS THE MENACE: An individual was menaced by another brandishing a weapon, but the victim declined to press charges.

ARE YOU REDDI?: An off-duty deputy called in a REDDI report. The driver was contacted, refused roadside tests and was taken into custody for driving under the influence, failure to maintain a lane and driving with a suspended license.

SEPT. 19

BEYOND FLAT: A citizen reported their car had been broken into and items stolen after leaving it on the side of the road after having a flat tire.

NEVER DO THAT: But she did. A female county resident gave an unknown person her credit card info over the phone and was dinged for $300.

ALL’S WELL: A possible domestic violence incident was investigated and determined that everyone was okay and no crimes committed.

SWIPED: A bike was stolen from a Lawson Hill residence.

ELK ON THE MOVE: An elk was put down after a motorcyclist collided with it. The rider was okay and the motorcycle was no longer rideable.

BREAK-IN: A vacant home in the Norwood was broken into but nothing else appeared damaged.

SEPT. 20

CAMPED OUT: A Moab resident called to report his mother had gone missing while camping but while search and rescue was gathering information, mama checked in and was okay.

SEPT. 22

TRESPASS, FORGIVEN: An individual reported a female party repeatedly trespassing, but the reporting party was not willing to file a complaint.

TELLURIDE MARSHAL’S DEPARTMENT

AUG. 22

GREASY LAKE: A restaurant manager was fined when approximately 15 gallons of grease were spilled in the alley, requiring two hours of cleanup by the fire department.

AUG. 28

DESPARATE TIMES: A woman was cited for shoplifting, saying she’d just had surgery and was short on cash.

SEPT. 5

WILD AND FREE: A dog’s owner was cited for dog at large when his canine companion was busted for unfettered frolicking near the gondola.

SEPT. 8

CAREFUL MAN, THERE’S A BEVERAGE HERE: A man drinking on a deck on the River Trail was cited for open container and for littering.

SEPT. 12

BUTT-HURT: A motorist was rear-ended by another on Colorado Avenue.

SEPT. 13

FOR THOSE ABOUT TO ROCK: Here’s a tale for ya. A man confronted another man who had lifted a bottle of juice from a display at a grocery store. The juice burglar willingly returned the juice after being confronted and he and the driver of the truck they were in, attempted to leave the parking lot. But they hooked the cart corral and a flower planter. The confronter fellow attempted to stop them from leaving by placing himself in the truck’s path, while brandishing a rock. The driver stepped on it and fled the scene. The truck was stopped west of town and officers were able to piece together the whole story and determined that being threatened with having a rock thrown through a windshield was a legit reason to flee. The driver was cited for careless driving.

SEPT. 14

URINE TROUBLE NOW: An officer caught a man micturating in public, pointing out there was a nearby bathroom. The man said it was an emergency and he didn’t want to pee his pants.

SEPT. 15

WHO’S NOT A GOOD BOY?: The owner of a dog tied up outside the library was cited for having a vicious dog after a woman was nipped, which tore the fabric of her clothing.

SEPT. 18

BAD BACK: Backing up and hitting someone will result in an improper backing citation every time.

SEPT. 20

I DID IT: A bus driver turned himself in for sideswiping a parked car with his bus. He was rewarded with a careless driving citation.

SEPT. 21

WHO’S NOT A GOOD HUMAN?: The owner of a dog left in a car for at least an hour, barking constantly, was cited accordingly.

SEPT. 22

LOADED IN MORE THAN ONE WAY: A female was taken into custody for driving under the influence when the officer observed her speeding through town and slaloming down the spur. She fired up coffin nails in an attempt to conceal the odor of an alcoholic beverage on her person, but the officer wasn’t fooled. She did poorly on her roadsides and was taken into custody where she blew a .120. Oh, and she mentioned she had a loaded handgun in her purse and two full magazines.

SEPT. 24

NOPE, NOT MINE: A wallet containing cash, an ID, social security card and a bindle of a white, powdery substance was turned in to the marshal’s office. It has languished, so far, unclaimed.

SEPT. 25

THE CASE OF THE VANISHING CAMERA: An individual reported lost or stolen camera gear, reportedly taken/lost while wearing the backpack in which it was kept.

Editor's note: Cop shop is compiled and written by Daily Planet staff.