SAN MIGUEL county SHERIFF’S OFFICE

NOV. 12

MEDICAL ASSIST: Deputies assisted medical personnel move a fallen patient from the patient’s home to the ambulance. The Norwood resident was transported to Montrose Memorial Hospital for treatment.

TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT: Deputies were on standby at the Telluride Regional Airport when an incoming aircraft reported difficulty in lowering its landing gear. The plane landed without incident.

WRECKLESS — THIS TIME: Deputies collared a reckless driver reported by another motorist who observed said driver weaving on Norwood Hill. A warning was issued to the driver.

NOV. 13

HOOP HE’S OK: Deputies assisted medical personnel with an injured Norwood High School basketball player.

OH, THEY’LL FIND YOU: A woman was arrested on a warrant for failure to appear.

A NECESSARY CHORE: A driver was cited for expired registration during a traffic stop.

NOV. 14

CSP ASSIST: Deputies assisted Colorado State Patrol with an accident on Highway 145 near Mountain Village.

METAL OF THE ROAD: By the time deputies reported to the site of where metal in the road was reported, the metal was gone.

BUGGED OUT: What was thought to be a fire turned out to be a Norwood homeowner employing a bug bomb.

TOPICAL PARADISE: Deputies conducted an annual inspection of a local cannabis product manufacturing facility.

IMPAIRED DRIVER: After sliding off the road and crashing into some trees, a motorist was arrested by state police for suspicion of driving under the influence of drugs.

STF DOWN: Speeding on Highway 145, or anywhere else, is inadvisable, especially when deputies are patrolling. A motorist was cited for exceeding the speed limit by 10-19 mph.

GOT YOUR BACK: Deputies performed backup duties for state police while a driver suspected of driving drunk was being investigated.

NOV. 15

SHE DID US ALL A LARGE: A woman reported that her ex-husband always drove drunk.

SUCH A PANE: A window in a residence near Norwood was reported broken. Turns out, the fire department used the structure for training, so it was broken for a noble purpose, not random mischief.

ANOTHER CRAPPY DRIVER: A motorist near Sawpit was cited for weaving and poor driving.

PROVE IT, OR NOT: A Dolores man was issued a summons for failure to provide proof of insurance.

OUT OF GAS, NOT OUT OF LUCK: Deputies provided a courtesy transport for a Norwood man who’d run out of gas on Norwood Hill.

DON’T IGNORE THE SIGNS: A motorist was cited near the Livery in Norwood for failing to observe a traffic control device.

NOV. 16

KAPUT: A courtesy transport was provided to a motorist whose car had broken down on Highway 145 south of Sawpit.

SEXTING: A Norwood woman reported getting harassing texts of a sexual nature from an unknown person.

HE WAS PREPARED: Deputies, Search and Rescue team members, Colorado Parks and Wildlife Officers, Highland Helicopters out of Durango, K9 Search and Rescue team out of Dolores, members from Dolores and Montezuma counties Search and Rescue, and friends and family members of a Delta man responded to the area of North Creek near the Montrose and San Miguel County line to search for an over due hunter. The missing party who is in his mid-70s was located from the air after he spent a night out in the wilderness while hunting elk. As the sun set he said he knew he was not going to make it out, so he hunkered down and spent the night with a small fire. The man was in good health and good spirits when located.

PAPERLESS DRIVING: A 31-year-old Norwood woman was cited for driving sans valid license or registration.

NOV. 17

ASSUMING THE WORST, TURNING OUT FOR THE BEST: A hunter in the Norwood area reported his rifle scope had been stolen but later called to say he found it along the side of the road, where it landed after apparently falling off his truck.

JUVENILE WARRANT ARREST: A young offender was taken to Grand Junction’s youth detention center.

UNRULY GUEST: An inmate at Sheriff Bill’s House of Clean Living was charged with criminal mischief for damaging county property.

NOV. 18

IN MY LANE: Rocks were reported and subsequently cleared from the southbound lane of Highway 62.

STONY END: Deputies assisted a motorist with a flat tire after hitting rocks on Highway 62.

HOME IS WHERE THE BARK IS: A stray dog wandering Grand Avenue in downtown Norwood was returned to its owners, who were advised to keep their hound contained.

TELLURIDE MARSHAL’S DEPARTMENT

NOV. 10

IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT: A cold hit and run was reported that took place “in the hours of darkness.” The ensuing investigation failed to turn up any leads.

THAT SMARTS: A bus driver was issued a citation for careless driving when he accidently interacted his public transit vehicle with the exterior of a parked car. The driver said he’d been distracted by children nearby as he pulled up to collect passengers.

NOV. 12

THE HAIR METAL BAND WAS BETTER, BUT NOT BY MUCH: A woman was picked up on a warrant out of La Plata County. She was transported to Sheriff Bill’s Three Hots and a Cot, which is rated by reviewers on Yelp as, “very expensive. Could use work on more ambient lighting, and the house pajamas are less than flattering, but overall the staff is accommodating.”

SWORD OF DAMOCLES: A man was picked up on a warrant arrest and cited for driving without a license. The man was observed getting into his vehicle, which the officers knew he was not legally allowed to do, and driving west out of town. He was pulled over mid-journey, and in the ensuing conversation with the man, the officer detected the odor of burnt marijuana. During the short trip from the man’s driver’s seat to the officer’s backseat, the officer noted the man did not seem impaired. Booked. Incarcerated.

NOV. 14

IT’S NOON SOMEWHERE: A woman was arrested on this morning for driving without a valid license, a situation she was in as a result of prior alcohol-related offenses behind the wheel. The officer noted she smelled of alcohol.

I USUALLY WEAR MY BUZZ LIGHTYEAR COSTUME: “While attired in my Telluride Marshal’s Office patrol duty uniform,” the officer successfully collared a man driving without a valid driver’s license. The apprehended man said he couldn’t afford to get his license reinstated and was obligated to find a ride home.

MOUNTAIN VILLAGE POLICE DEPARTMENT

NOV. 12

SLOW DOWN: A motorist, who was exceeding the posted speed limit received a warning for, you guessed it, speeding.

WELL, AT LEAST IT WORKS: An alarm sounded at a residence on Polecat Lane, but it was a false beacon.

NOV. 13

ANTICLIMATIC ALARM: A fire alarm blared at a residence on Mountain Village Boulevard, but it wasn’t necessary for the police to respond.

SPEED THRILLS: Two motorists were warned about speeding around Mountain Village Boulevard during separate incidents.

NOV. 14

OFF ROADING: Officers helped a motorist who slid off the road.

LEAD FOOT: A motorist was warned about speeding on Mountain Village Boulevard … again.

DISTURBED, NOT THE BAND: Police received a call about a disturbance at a residence on Country Club Drive, but upon arrival the caller did not want to speak with police.

NOV. 15

LOST: A social security card was found.

BAND PRACTICE?: An animal problem was reported at a residence on Mountain Village Boulevard. It was unclear if the Muppet madman had anything to do with this.

SOUND THE SIRENS: A residential alarm on Touchdown Drive was activated, meantime, not even an hour later, a business “panic alarm” was triggered.

ACCIDENT: One occurred on Mountain Village Boulevard on this day in the year of our lord 2018.

NOV. 16

FUMING: Someone complained about fumes caused by snowmaking. The generator was moved, the snow was still made and the ski season is officially upon us.

MORE INFO NEEDED: A criminal mischief/suspicious entry required more follow up.

NOV. 17

DEEPER ISSUES: After officers tried to jump-start a motorist’s car, it was determined “other mechanical reasons” were to blame for the vehicle’s unresponsiveness.

NOV. 18:

CRYING WOLF: An alarm at a Country Club Drive residence went off, but to the surprise of no one, it was false.

BLOWING SMOKE: A smoke alarm was alerting people of smoke somewhere on Adams Ranch Road. Upon inspection, though, everything was OK.

VIOLATOR: Someone violated a protection order, which is a no-no.

Editor’s note: Cop Shop is compiled and written by Daily Planet staff.