San Miguel Sheriff’s Office

March 30

IT’S NOT ONLY LEGAL, BUT HIGHLY WARM AND COZY: When the Norwood Fire Department arrived at what had been reported as a structure fire in the Norwood area, they discovered that the blaze was confined to a chimney.

YOU’RE LICENSED ONLY TO CHILL: A 44-year-old man drove without a licence.

SNOW — LIKE FLYPAPER FOR CARS: Snowstorm sticks vehicle. Cops help unstick it.
 
March 31

AN IDLE ENGINE IS THE DEVIL’S WORKSHOP: Vehicle idled in the parking lot for an extended period.

IN LIKE A LAMB, OUT LIKE A LION: Officers from the San Miguel Sheriff’s Office assisted with a three-car minor injury traffic accident near the top of Dallas Divide by providing traffic control assistance in conditions varying from near-spring like to near-whiteout.

IF A TREE FALLS: A passing motorist reported a tree that had fallen and was partially blocking a lane of Highway 145 near Placerville. A deputy responded, removed the bigger pieces of debris and the lane was reopened.

April 1

YOU CAN’T SPELL HARRASS WITHOUT THOSE LAST THREE LETTERS: A 23-year-old harrassed others.

April 2

SHOULDERING THE BURDEN: The flashing lights responded to a vehicle and trailer stuck on the Spur. The driver was contacted and assessed. Vehicle and trailer were removed from the roadway and the driver was escorted to the Telluride Medical center for treatment of a shoulder injury.

THEY WERE WRITTEN ON NAPKINS: At a business in the Norwood area, a patron has been writing bad checks.

BAD CREDIT? NO CREDIT? NO PROBLEM! STEAL SOME!: A credit card device was misused.

April 3

PLAY NICE NOW, BOYS: There was a dispute between two individuals that were having a dispute over a storage container. The container had been taken off of another’s property with the property owner’s things still in it. Both subjects were advised that their problem is a civil matter, and that they would need to work out their problems together, or hire attorneys and work out the matter in court.

WHY ARE THEY CALLED TRAFFIC OFFENSES WHEN THERE’S SO LITTLE TRAFFIC AROUND HERE?: In any event, a woman was cited for multiple traffic offenses.

DUI: A man was arrested for driving under the influence of alcohol.

April 4

TO THE HOOSEGOW WITH YOU: The jakes saw this scoflaw tooling round, and knew this dude was driving on a canceled, denied driver’s license.
POOR RISK MANAGEMENT: A Sawpit resident was issued a summons for driving with no insurance.

April 6

THE CALL OF THE INJURED ELK IS DISTINCTIVE AND HAUNTING: Deputy responded to a call of an injured elk. The elk was gone upon the deputy’s arrival.