Telluride Marshal’s Office

March 25
A MOTE OF DUST ON A SUNBEAM: On the Spur, a conspiracy of early-morning sun glare and some dust in her contact made her lose sight of the cars stopped ahead of her, and she plowed into them at 35 mph.

April 15
IT’S…: Cops went to great lengths trying to track down what kind of truck backed into a Land Rover and fled — calling the Ford Motor Company and trying to track down a certain broken part — but came up empty. A Land Rover owner is sadder than ever.

April 11
…OFF…: A parking lot so icy it was hard to walk on slid a Ford Bronco right into a Suby station wagon.

April 17
…SEASON: Power box struck by truck.

San Miguel Sheriff’s Office

April 11
STAY AWAY FROM THE POLE: The Sheriff’s Office is investigating an incident in which a San Miguel Power pole was broken in the Norwood area.

April 14
I THOUGHT IT SAID IT WAS FREE: An alleged shoplifting offense at a local business was deemed a misunderstanding.
BLAME CANADA: A county resident reported that upon completion of a deal over eBay with a Canadian for a camera, he was the proud owner of a “four-thousand dollar bar of soap.” Internet shoppers are well advised to “read twice, click once.” And “don’t trust Canada.”

April 15
EAT! EAT! YOU’RE SKIN AND BONES!: A deputy checked on the welfare of three horses in the Norwood area. Though on the skinny side, they were in a pasture with sufficient grass and hay to fatten them up.
WIND … NATURE’S VILEST MISCREANT: Strong winds in the area are the suspected cause of a burglar alarm.

April 16
FIRED UP: A fire broke out and destroyed an unattended structure on the premises an Ilium Valley business. Foul play was not involved.

April 17
BE HAPPY WITH WHO YOU ARE: A caller tried to elicit personal information over the phone. Probably so he could rob this person blind. Or because of low self-esteem issues. You know, wanting to become someone else.
TRASH FIRE: A fire burned in a garbage dumpster.
April 18
ROAD WORK: A couple of speeding tickets, one accident.

April 19
OUT OF GAS: After a short investigation, was located in Telluride and asked to return to the store to pay his bill to the gas station.
SPARK: A deputy responded to the Egnar area for the report of a recreational vehicle towing another vehicle and starting fires. The Egnar Fire Department had extinguished fires along the highway caused by a mechanical failure in the towed vehicle, resulting in it being drug behind the RV. The ensuing sparks from the metal on asphalt was the source of the fire.
HIS CRIME? LIVING IN STEAMBOAT: A Steamboat Springs man was arrested after he was stopped for a traffic violation and found to have an active state wide extraditable warrant.

April 20
IF A TREE BURNS IN THE WOODS, DOES THE NORWOOD FIRE DEPARTMENT RESPOND?: Yes. There was a single tree fire in Norwood, and the Norwood fire department was dispatched. Upon arrival, they found the fire had been extinguished.
DUI: A 42-year-old man was arrested for driving under the influence of alcohol, driving under restraint and careless driving after he drove his car off the highway and down an embankment in San Miguel Canyon.

Editor’s note: Cop Shop is compiled from police reports provided to the Daily Planet by the hard-working men and women at the local law enforcement agencies. The reports were edited, and some were re-written in a (supposedly) humorous manner by Planet reporters Reilly Capps and Patrick Healy. For space reasons, not every incident that appears in the police reports appears in Cop Shop. Capps can be reached at 728-9788 x 11 or reilly@telluridenews.com.